Halloween is coming...

... and so am I (nearly!) at the thought of all the dressing up I'm going to do and the trouble I'm going to cause with the Christians in my neighborhood. If I hadn't got so mashed up on drugs yesterday I'd even be considering burning a coupla' churches down, but I don't know if I got the energy! Anyway, I guess a bit of drugs won't hurt that. And a few cafe frappe lattes!

Let's roll!

Let's roll joints! (Maybe that's what those guys in the plane meant by the way? I know I'd fancy a smoke if I were getting that close to the Pentagon ROTFL!)

Man!

I got so stoned on drugs last night! It's like you just wouldn't believe. Then we all went into the streets and started causing trouble. I smashed up an SUV when I was tripping. I was just staring at the broken glass for hours and all the rainbow colours it made on the street. My buddy Hank the dealer got out his wang and started jerking off right in front of the town hall shouting "fuck the Po-lice". It was totally rad. Then we stole some JD from the liquor store and drank all that watching porn.

Wow! What a night!

And do you know, the system wants to make that kind of thing illegal?!

Why do they persecute me?!

I really like...

... viewing pornographic images on the internet.

Got a problem with that? Infringing on my rights? You betta not! I'll get a campaign group going and we'll be outside your house with signs before you can say "I hate Jesus." (which I do, by the way!)

Me and my liberal friends. Think about that.

STOP TRYING TO TAKE AWAY OUR FREEDOM.

Gay? Straight?

You know, I really don't think there is something like completely gay or completely straight. It's all facets, man. I mean, if the right guy comes along and you need some sex and you are normally only sleeping with girls. I don't think there is something wrong to get it going with boys or for girls to get it on with other girls. So what, man? Love is love, right?

Peace out,
Lance

I hate America? So what???

Republi-cunts often ask my why I hate America! I don't hate America, I just don't give a fuck! What is so special about America anyway (and let's not forget it's not actually called "America" it's the United States, ok?).

I don't owe anything to this country. There are other countries that are much cooler than the USA. Take Holland for example. They have legalized drugs and practice free love whenever they feel like it, man! This stinking country is so uptight with all the white Republi-cunts running around and shit. I don't want to believe in 'God'. I have no respect for that concept, man. I think if God really exists he must be a racist hillbilly fucker, man!

I also don't support the troops. For me they are nothing but Nazis! Killing Iraqis for no reason what so ever. I don't give a shit if they get killed or not. And I don't like paying taxes for that war man.

Peace,
Lance

You, know - the other day while I was taking a few hits on the bong, I started thinking about how fucked up the Republicans are... you know they are trying to take away my rights to get stoned. How can that be fair? What else am I going to do while I bitch about how much I hate America?

So there I was in my squat, thinking about how much I hate George W. Bush, when one of my crack ho's comes in and tells me that I'm late for the gay-rights parade.

Hey' it's only 2pm, I'm not getting out of bed this early if the Queen of Queens was personally going to dance for me like what all of the gays always do! Some day soon I'm going to dump that bitch - I've got loads of other girlfriends. I'm a liberal, it's my right to get funky with however many chicks I want!

Hi I'm Lance!

Peace is love - and love is peace!

I just wish that more people would listen to that message today - hey Mr President!